5 minutes

it hurts when u can't help and felt helpless..

it hurts when u just can sit and wait..

because waiting...is killing me..

but i can't do anything..

except for praying to Allah the Almighty..

I pray that Allah

will grant him forgiveness his sins..

and will give him the strength he needed..

especially at this time the most..

I pray that Allah

will simplify his affairs..

and will not burden him with what he can't catch..

May Allah always be by his side..

May Allah always look after him..

Protecting him, guiding him no matter what..

"Ya Allah, ya Rahman, ya Rahim.. bantulah menyembuhkan hambamu itu ya Allah..

kerana dengan hanya izin Mu sahaja yang boleh menyembuhkan dia.."

amin..

listen if you don't mind...

I used to have one heart which i can say as cold as a stone..
The mood of the environment doesn't affect me at all..
as long as i'm satisfied with my life..
i used to hold onto my principle;
crying means you are WEAK!
it worst if it witnesses by others..

but..,
recently i often heard news about death, break-up, etc..
-if i used to be the one years back then,...
i wouldn't even mind as long as it has nothing to do with me..
i just felt sorry for them & nothing more than that..
but..,
i'm changing to a person i barely knew myself..
such news as stated, of course made me felt sorry..
and mix with grief.. EXTRA grief..
I'm becoming more SENSITIVE nowadays..
i believe hormones got something to do with this..

i remembered when i happened to read
about the death of my senior's father..
i kept on thinking how sad it was if i were him..
pity+sorry+sad were blended altogether..

and visiting his mum, i can see the sadness, sorrow, grief through her face..

i remembered when i happened to read (spread through facebook)
about the death of my college mate's girlfriend..
this one...i know its real tough for him to lose his love one..
even with only break-up (alive) can bring u in deep sadness..
but..
to be separated by death...
hanya ALLAH sahaja tau how the guy feel.. Moga dia redha..
i read his status on fb & i also read his late girlfriend..
and..
can u imagine when u miss someone so much and u post it to his/her fb
and u know he/she will not be able to reply back because...
he/she is not in this world anymore..
u knew it and yet u can't resist the pain of missing someone..
it was so hard not to cry..
i cried and jajan saw it..
-sorry jajan.. causing u to see the ugly side of me..
instead of kept in silence, she said to me...
"xpe.. awk menangis je.. ambik masa luahkan perasaan sedih tu..."
thanks jajan.. :)

i wish i can control this sensitive thing because its hard to deal with.. its negative..

Al-fatihah untuk arwah-arwah..

Semoga roh mereka dicucuri rahmat & diletakkan bersama orang yang beriman..

amin...